ACCEPTING THE GOOD WITH THE BAD

Life is a series of peaks and valleys, ups and downs, good days and bad. One day, it may seem as if you’re on top of the world, only to feel knocked down the very next day. Life is a balancing act, and we have to take the good with the bad. But I’m talking about the severe valleys- the ones that go so deep, you lose reception for hope. Let me first say, you will make it out of the valley, because that is how life moves. In the meantime, though, let’s discuss the nature of sorrow and it’s purpose in our lives.

It’s hard to imagine a grander plan in the midst of pain and suffering. Why do terrible, horrific things happen in our world? Why do things like sadness, despair, and heartbreak exist? These questions are powerful, and can shake the foundations of even the most spiritually sound people. Sorrow is perhaps one of the most devastating emotions (rage being the most misunderstood, and joyful the most sought-after).

In the thick of the storm, I recommend trying to find refuge in the belief that “This too shall pass,” far away though it may seem. Nothing is ever put in our paths that we are not capable of getting through, no matter how hopeless it may initially seem. The difficulties you are facing today are the valleys you must climb through, perhaps crawling at times, to get to the top of your next mountain. You may not notice the progress you’re making at first, but the point is to keep moving forward.  As Roman poet Ovid suggested, “Bear and endure: this sorrow will one day prove to be for your good.” A helpful exercise is recalling a past difficulty that you experienced. Despite the pain you felt at the time, you made it through and became a stronger person.   

Yet, in spite of this knowledge that brighter days are ahead of us, perhaps we have languished a bit too long in the gray, rainy days and have strained our eyes from searching for a break in the clouds. This is a good time to remind ourselves that life is a balancing act: “We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness” (David Weatherford). We are not allowed the benefit (or curse) of experiencing only one side of the coin- that is not the way our world was designed. Sorrow is only a small part of the larger spectrum of emotion that we are capable of feeling. When you’re feeling low, remember that it’s all part of the process, and it will pass.

Even Carl Jung said “The word ‘happiness’ would lose it’s meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” Because we have sorrows, we are better able to accept happiness and truly understand what it means when we feel it. Sorrow is just as beautiful as happiness, and just as important