HOW TO STRESS LESS

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.– Winston Churchill

Worrying is common in today’s world, to the point where most of us are constantly worrying about, well, everything. Then it blossoms into full blown stress, which can take a strong hold on our lives. It will dictate most of our behaviors, thoughts, and actions- but only if we let it.

This may be surprising, but stress does have a purpose. It directs our attention to something (a situation or other outside influence) that is unpleasant or dangerous, so that we can take necessary action to remove ourselves from it. Usually, our bodies will restore themselves to neutral after the stressor has been removed. When we are under constant stress, the body never has a chance to recover, and that’s when it becomes dangerous to our health. Kris Carr illustrates this mind-body connection in the following: “If you don't think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days.” Unfortunately, we live in a society that glorifies being stressed out, which can make breaking free difficult. A good starting point is turning inward.

The first thing to do is pinpoint the source of your stress. There are many theories as to the origins of stress, but one of my favorites is from Eckhart Tolle: “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’” “Here” could be a physical space, like being stuck in a traffic jam when you need to be “there” at work. It can also refer to wherever you are mentally. This idea also translates into mental space. In essence, our root cause of stress is usually from trying to manipulate situations beyond our control and the ensuing frustration when things don’t go according to plan. Take some time to reflect on the situations that are generating feelings of stress in your life. How many of them are beyond your control?

The next step is releasing yourself from this burden, which is another inside job. Expecting someone else to remove the stress from you inevitably creates an unhealthy dynamic, for starters, and can also breed further stress and resentments. Relieving yourself of stress means re-evaluating how the aforementioned situations trigger a stress response. Is it a situation we can remove ourselves from? If not, how can we change our perspective or attitude toward the situation in a way that reduces stress? This requires some deep digging. In all likelihood, it will also mean letting go and accepting that certain things are beyond our control, and that’s okay.

Stress isn’t all bad, but when it starts taking over our lives and well-being, it may be time to sit down with ourselves and look at what’s really going on. As we move through life, good and bad things will happen, we can only control our response: “A diamond is a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well” (unknown).

NOT YOUR TYPICAL NEW YEAR'S BLOG

This isn’t your typical New Year’s blog.

Of course, you probably gathered that based on the fact that it’s now almost 3 weeks into 2016, after all the usual hubbub around the topic has died down and the gym is leveling off to it’s usual number of attendees. Do you feel yourself loosening your grip on those goals you made for yourself in December? Why has your resolve eased up? I have a few theories about why resolutions fall through in the first part of the year.

Sometimes, our New Year’s Resolutions are overly ambitious or reflect long-term changes. When the end of January rolls around and we haven’t noticed any progress, it’s discouraging. Slowly but surely, we slip back into our old habits and patterns, back into the comfort zone of old patterns and behaviors. Part of the problem is modern society’s need for instant gratification. If your goals were something along the lines of lose weight or save money, you aren’t going to see leaps and bounds of progress in only one month (at least, not if you are using a healthy approach). Keep your timeline in perspective- New Year’s Resolutions aren’t supposed to be resolved in the first month or two of the year!

Maybe you started off the new year with a bang, and are now petering off. Instead of feeling guilty about this loss of zeal, it might be possible that your approach wasn’t sustainable. Remember to be relentless (and realistic) about your goals, but flexible about your methods. Life is going to throw you curveballs, so let your plans go with the flow (without losing sight of your goal, of course)!
Another common New Year’s Resolution rut comes from making goals that are a bit too ambitious. There’s a fine line between challenging yourself and creating an impossible task. Your goals don’t have to be dramatic, like “run a 5 minute mile” or “make a million dollars.” As long as you’re actively attempting to increase your health and happiness, your goals are just fine. Benjamin Franklin once said “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better person.” As long as you can look at yourself a year from now and be able to see and appreciate the personal growth that has taken place, let that be enough. “Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending” (Carl Bard).

So what if you missed the mark on January 1st? It’s just a date, after all- now is the perfect time to start!

Whatever you do, don’t give up! So what if you already stopped going to the gym for a week or missed your budget mark by going to the movies last week. You slipped, you fell down, but it doesn’t mean you should give up on the rest of the game. You might have to do some recalculating, either readjusting your mindset (instant gratification syndrome), your methods, or your goals (if they are overreaching) are some places to start.