THE BLESSING- AND CURSE- OF A TO-DO LIST

When you’re in charge of more than one person, say by running a business or keeping track of kids, it helps to collect and organize information about everyone’s schedules, be it in a list or calendar. Externalizing your daily priorities clears some space in your head for other things that need to happen, or, in other words, helps your mind stay sane and uncluttered. Making a to-do list should be more empowering than disheartening, but toeing that line can feel like walking a tight rope. Between work for Wish with the Sky Foundation and being a mother of 4, here are some insights I’ve learned over the years.

Having everyone’s schedules in one place is a blessing. In a perfect world, you wouldn’t have last-minute meetings or pull out important flyers from your child’s backpack the night before something important is happening, or other unpredictable event like car trouble or illness. The beauty of a to do list is that you can ideally shift around your priorities to accommodate these snafus. It can also be a nice reference point that brings you back to center when those outside forces come into play- all you have to do is refer to your list and get back on track!

When your to-do list starts becoming a script for your life, or you start getting anxiety around completing all the items in a given day, you have probably crossed the line from helpful into harmful. If writing down a list of what you have to do in a given day is stressful, it might be time to find a new approach to getting organized. You may even consider breaking up with to-do lists altogether- and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You might consider reimagining the way you approach a to-do list. One alternative is the 1-3-5 list, where you pick one “big” thing, 3 medium level things, and 5 small things that you will accomplish. For other alternative list structures, take a look at this article from Work Awesome.

Rather than nixing to do lists altogether, it might be a good idea to build in some balance. Create some time, be it a couple hours each day, or setting aside the weekend, to be agenda-less. It doesn’t mean you have to float around and do nothing, just that you mentally free yourself from creating a list. After all, an agenda does not make life any more or less important. Let yourself (and your kids) enjoy a bit of time here and there without worrying what you’re supposed to go to next.

Moderation is the key. For the important things, like meetings, practices, rehearsals, etc., it’s important to keep track of what’s going on. But if every waking moment is dictated by this list, it will start to feel more like a burden than a tool. Life wasn’t meant to be an itemized list of things to check off! Not accomplishing everything you’d initially hoped to in a day is ok- you are wherever you need to be in a given moment. The to-do list is a guide, not a rulebook.

COPING WITH TRAGEDY

“Hate. It has caused a lot of problems in the world, but it has not solved a one yet” -Maya Angelou

There’s a lot of madness going on around the world, our country, and sometimes even our own backyards. It can be a tough pill to swallow, and even more difficult to have conversations about tragic events to young children. In light of recent events, here are some ideas on coping with events and teaching our children to do the same.

For many people, being proactive is an important part of making sense of and overcoming tragedy. Rather than staying stuck in the past, or the problem, becoming proactive helps you look for a solution and focus on the things you can change. It also forces you out of your own head, which is important to tap into but is easy to get stuck in during periods of grieving. Volunteering or reaching out to others are great ways to do this.

It’s okay to grieve. While there’s certainly something to be said for “going through the motions,” bottling your emotions hinders your recovery process from a tragic event. Feel what you need to feel, without judgement. If you have kids, allowing yourself to do this encourages them to grieve as well. Another important part of the process is allowing others to help you if you need it. Many of us feel the need to shoulder our burdens and grief, isolating them for fear that they will spread and contaminate the lives of others. It’s a normal fear, but unnecessary. If these people were struggling, you would want to help them in some way- so let them help you if they offer.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in this world” (Fred Rogers). Remember that for all the grief and terrible events that occur, both isolated and everyday, that there are good people in the world who are willing to help. That’s one of the only things that restores faith in humanity and the world- remembering and being able to find the truly good things. And in times of confusion, it’s a good for children to understand that when there is bad, there is just as much good surrounding us.

When something tragic happens on a larger scale, it can make our individual efforts feel almost insignificant. Who cares if I donated a pint of blood? What difference does my volunteer work make? No one person can save the whole world, but our individual efforts do add up. And when it comes down to it, the most important thing you can do is surround yourself with the people you love at home, because the world always needs more love: “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family” (Mother Teresa).

HOW TO STRESS LESS

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.– Winston Churchill

Worrying is common in today’s world, to the point where most of us are constantly worrying about, well, everything. Then it blossoms into full blown stress, which can take a strong hold on our lives. It will dictate most of our behaviors, thoughts, and actions- but only if we let it.

This may be surprising, but stress does have a purpose. It directs our attention to something (a situation or other outside influence) that is unpleasant or dangerous, so that we can take necessary action to remove ourselves from it. Usually, our bodies will restore themselves to neutral after the stressor has been removed. When we are under constant stress, the body never has a chance to recover, and that’s when it becomes dangerous to our health. Kris Carr illustrates this mind-body connection in the following: “If you don't think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days.” Unfortunately, we live in a society that glorifies being stressed out, which can make breaking free difficult. A good starting point is turning inward.

The first thing to do is pinpoint the source of your stress. There are many theories as to the origins of stress, but one of my favorites is from Eckhart Tolle: “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’” “Here” could be a physical space, like being stuck in a traffic jam when you need to be “there” at work. It can also refer to wherever you are mentally. This idea also translates into mental space. In essence, our root cause of stress is usually from trying to manipulate situations beyond our control and the ensuing frustration when things don’t go according to plan. Take some time to reflect on the situations that are generating feelings of stress in your life. How many of them are beyond your control?

The next step is releasing yourself from this burden, which is another inside job. Expecting someone else to remove the stress from you inevitably creates an unhealthy dynamic, for starters, and can also breed further stress and resentments. Relieving yourself of stress means re-evaluating how the aforementioned situations trigger a stress response. Is it a situation we can remove ourselves from? If not, how can we change our perspective or attitude toward the situation in a way that reduces stress? This requires some deep digging. In all likelihood, it will also mean letting go and accepting that certain things are beyond our control, and that’s okay.

Stress isn’t all bad, but when it starts taking over our lives and well-being, it may be time to sit down with ourselves and look at what’s really going on. As we move through life, good and bad things will happen, we can only control our response: “A diamond is a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well” (unknown).

TIPS ON BECOMING RESILIENT

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it”- Margaret Thatcher

Everyone has a bad day, or a series of bad days, once in awhile. It’s all a part of life. Resilience is our ability to bounce back from these unavoidable setbacks and “get back on the saddle.” Like the Margaret Thatcher quote above suggests, when you encounter a challenge or obstacle, you may not be successful on the first try. At times, it probably feels like you’re stuck in a repetitive loop having to deal with the same problem more than once. Part of being resilient is being able to come back to a battle more than once, and being ok with the fact that you might have to lose once in awhile. If you don’t consider yourself among the resilient, the good news is that many of the characteristics of resilient people can be obtained with a bit work!

Acceptance might be the most important part of resilience, and the part that is easier said than done. It takes a lot of work to be comfortable with the knowledge that some things are beyond our control. The truth is, even though we work hard and try to do the next right thing, we aren’t the ones running the show. We truly only have control over ourselves and our own actions.

Another piece of acceptance is having faith that, even if we don’t have control, that it will all be okay. Again, this might feel unfamiliar to many people at first (like being spiritually blindfolded). Every now and then, you’re not going to feel very positive. Life might be throwing a lot at you at once. You don’t have to be at your best all the time- remember that it’s okay not to be okay every now and then.

“It’s not the load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it” (Lena Horne).

Although it may seem like resilient people are independently strong, they usually have a strong support group that helps them through the difficult times. Part of being resilient is knowing that as individuals, we don’t have all the answers, and someone else might be able to help if we let them. Have you ever told a friend something difficult or painful, and felt physically lighter because of it? Powerful feelings and emotions can weigh us down. Life’s burdens are less likely to break us if we distribute the weight across multiple people rather than trying to shoulder them all ourselves.

“Failure is a bruise not a tattoo” (Jon Sinclair). Another important component of resilience is perspective. Is the glass half full or half empty? Resilient people don’t tell themselves “I can’t” or view situations as impossible to handle. They also tend to look at difficulties as an opportunity for growth. It sounds a bit “out there,” but remember, I said these qualities required a bit of work! Situations may appear different if we step away for a little bit. It may also be an opportunity to ask someone else for their perspective- you never know what wisdom another person has to offer.

Resilience isn’t built in a day. Sure, some people make it look easy but these are skills that everyone can develop with a bit of practice and patience.

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE

"You never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore”

We’ve discussed how hard it can be to start new habits before. The other day, I was thinking to myself (and now to all of you), what about the opposite? What about quitting bad habits? When the day comes when you finally realize that a certain behavior is no longer serving its purpose in your life, it can be hard to let go. Sometimes, breaking an old habit can be harder than starting a new one! In the spirit of the season, think of this post as spring cleaning for the soul.

Why is it so hard to break a habit? Part of it is directly related to the brain and creating conditioned responses to situations. For instance, if something stressful happens and your reaction is to smoke a cigarette, that will eventually become your default setting. So, when you try to quit smoking and something stressful happens, you’re going to have a bit of a struggle fighting that knee-jerk reaction. When faced with this difficulty of breaking a conditioned response, many people waver. Another reason it can be hard to break an unhealthy habit is fear. Once we let go of this unhealthy habit, what’s on the other side? It may very well be health and happiness, but we don’t have any guarantee. We do, however, know what happens when we continue with our unhealthy behavior. It’s reliable. It’s helpful to remember, no matter how terrifying the unknown may seem, that there’s a an opportunity for a beautiful transformation on the other side. This little bit always gives me a surge of hope: “How does one become a butterfly?” “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

Having an unhealthy habit doesn’t make you any less loveable or undeserving as anyone else. Just because you smoke or have a tendency to eat too much sweet food doesn’t make you a terrible person. If you approach habit-breaking from a place of self love rather than self loathing, it changes things. The following quote from Sally Hogshead is a great reminder to eliminate shame from your attitude about yourself/your habits: “The goal is not to change who you are, but to become more of who you are at your best”

To change requires a great deal of courage. It’s not easy to let go of something that has acted as a crutch or distraction, even if it’s detrimental to your well-being. It’ll be difficult at first, while you retrain yourself to find a new approaches to old situations, and you probably won’t get it right on the first try. Keep trying, because it’s never too late to start over: “I hope you live a life you're proud of and, if you're not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again” (F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button).

MAURICE LAMKIN JR. AMELIORATION ACT PETITION IS NOW READY TO SIGN!

"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." --R. Buckminster Fuller--

    I hope everyone is having a great evening! The Maurice Lamkin Jr. Amelioration Act Petition, to bring about much needed Flu Vaccine reform, is now ready to sign! Please watch our new video at www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KvqvTWSqz8 and then visit www.flushotgonewrong.com too sign the petition! Thank you for the continued support and Together, we CAN make a difference in people's lives!                    
                                                       

THE HIDDEN AGENDA OF THE FLU SHOT

  "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has" -- Margaret Mead --

          It's no coincidence how the flu shot is being forced on us like never before. The advertisements are ceaseless; coming from billboards, T.V. commercials, radio, and whatever other creative way sellers can think of to push this vaccine. Some employers, are even now requiring their employees to receive the inoculation or risk losing their job. Knowing firsthand the devastating effects the Flu Shot can render, my heart drops every time a new advertisement pops up. A few days ago, when driving past a local pharmacy, I couldn't help but cringe. I was used to the usual "Don't Forget Your Flu Shot" signs up all over, but was shocked at what I saw on this afternoon! Their usual Flu Shot advertising had obviously taken on a whole new level of approach----as there was an employee dressed as a vaccine needle, trying his best to direct traffic over to the store. I watched in dismay as he held a sign up that read, "Free toy given with every Flu Shot." My eyes became tear-filled as I thought to myself: This is definitely all about the money ---- Why else is a vaccine being thrust upon us so much, without even knowing the way different people's bodies will react to it? And why are the possible adverse effects being kept so hushed? Something has to be done!
       It is proven that the Flu Shot contains one or more toxic ingredients! One of these, named Sodium Deoxycholate, is better known as 'Detergent!' This chemical can weaken the blood-brain-barrier and subsequently activate seizures, or other conditions such as: encephalitis (brain swelling) or Guillain-Barre syndrome! Mercury, a well known neuro-toxin, also still remains in the Flu Vaccine. U.S law actually requires it be in there because it is an effective preservative. We have long heard our government say mercury is safe in vaccines, but I beg to differ! The pharmaceutical companies also don't seem to be in a hurry to reveal that aborted human fetus cell lines are used in the early stages of production in most Influenza vaccines! They say these are used because the vaccine needs a living cell in which to grow and that purification steps ensure these cells are not in the final vaccine product...BUT considering all the secrecy going on with this vaccine...I wouldn't be quick to believe their reasoning! Why would these chemicals be allowed to remain in any vaccine? Why does our government feel we should be comfortable with injecting our children, elderly, and pregnant women with these deadly toxins? Why is proper research not being done by the pharmaceutical companies on how people's bodies can or can not metabolize and excrete these toxic ingredients? These questions can no longer go un-answered! They need to know that we will not stand idly by, while this Hidden Flu Shot agenda wreaks havoc on so many families lives! Another parent should not be left grieving after the death of their precious child to the Flu Shot or having to watch their loved one's life transformed forever, from a vaccine that is definitely not safe and needs major reform.
       In Italy, after three people have recently died and another fights for their life after taking the Flu Shot, the vaccine has now been Banned! Our government should see this as a 'wake up call', per the fact that another country is even recognizing the deadly dangers of this vaccine!
      Vaccine Reform in this country, with an emphasis on the Flu Vaccine, is long over due! I am in no way anti-government, but sometimes Change Needs To Be Made And You Must Stand Up For What's Right! It is time to get back to the principles our forefathers founded this Great Country on and not be expected to lay down and take pharmaceutical and other government agencies putting our loved ones at risk, because they have trillions of dollars backing them. The well known author, poet, and philosopher, Henry David Thoreau, once said it is sometimes best when individual's rights take priority over state authority. During the American Renaissance Era, a time when injustice ran rampant, Mr. Thoreau was no stranger to standing up for what he believed in and trying to correct wrongs. My fellow mankind, I say to you, it is now time we really push our own agenda ---- the agenda to save many lives through much needed Flu Vaccine Reform!
      I am currently in the midst of launching a national campaign called the Maurice Lamkin Jr. Amelioration Act, calling for immediate reduction and elimination of toxic Flu vaccine ingredients. Our own journey has taught me to never give up and to inspire change whenever possible. I've made it my mission in life to keep people from going through the pain my son endured, after taking the Flu Shot. I urge you to stand with me in this fight to bring about much needed reform! Next week, I will post an online Petition on my www.flushotgonewrong.com site, which will need as many signatures as we can gather. Stay tuned to the site for details and I will also put on my blog when it has been posted. This petition will accompany me to Washington, DC in a few months, when I meet with community leaders and lawmakers. This will be a tough battle, but I rest assured God is leading and guiding my foot steps! Isaiah 45:2 KJV says 'I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron.' Thank you for your support and  Together, We can bring about much needed change and reform!