THOUGHTS ON EXPRESSING GRATITUDE

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, it is the parent of all others”- Cicero

Gratitude lists and journals are often suggested as a “pick me up” for people to get out of their own head. It’s a great exercise, and many people report that it works. The idea is to actively acknowledge what we are grateful for, which will help bring those positive feelings to our awareness and shift our mindset from the negative to the positive. Doing something every day to express gratitude- whether it’s using a gratitude journal, calling someone to thank them for their presence in your life, or simply saying “thank you” can help shift your mood.

The first step in expressing gratitude is to tap into the things you are grateful for, no matter how simple or trivial. Like anything else, this might require a bit of practice, and if you’re having a particularly difficult time in general, it may take a bit more work.

The next step is to find a way to channel it: “Gratitude requires awareness and effort not only to feel it but to express it” Bonnie D. Parkin. Some ideas for expressing gratitude include journaling, writing a letter, making a phone call, or paying it forward somehow. Gratitude journals have gained a lot of popularity recently (after all, Oprah has one!). If you decide to go that route, it’s recommended to make an entry 1-3 times a week. It doesn’t necessarily need to be an every day thing. Be diligent but don’t make it a chore- otherwise you risk making it a chore. You should set aside some time each day to write in your gratitude journal, but give yourself a range of items rather than a set amount (like 3-5). If you have more, great- don’t put a cap on it!

Why express gratitude? Anne Lamott explains it in this quote: “Gratitude is peace.” Having and showing gratitude have been linked to increased positive feelings, including optimism. In the wake of a terrible day, just being aware that you have a few things to be grateful for can give you a surge of good feelings- enough to know that it will all turn out alright, no matter what is happening at this moment: “When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change” (Dr. Wayne Dyer). Expressing gratitude can also increase our feelings of interconnectedness. No matter what method you choose- writing, praying, speaking to another- you sometimes experience a surge of compassion for certain people in your life. If that’s the case, you may even want to reach out to them and let them know!Expressing gratitude is an easy way to snap out of a bad mood. It also allows you to foster feelings of optimism, goodwill, connection, and overall positivity. Another bonus of gratitude is that it can be expressed in a variety of ways. I’ve given some examples above, but trust me- there are many more! If you cannot find anything to be grateful for, consider this quote: “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

NOT YOUR TYPICAL NEW YEAR'S BLOG

This isn’t your typical New Year’s blog.

Of course, you probably gathered that based on the fact that it’s now almost 3 weeks into 2016, after all the usual hubbub around the topic has died down and the gym is leveling off to it’s usual number of attendees. Do you feel yourself loosening your grip on those goals you made for yourself in December? Why has your resolve eased up? I have a few theories about why resolutions fall through in the first part of the year.

Sometimes, our New Year’s Resolutions are overly ambitious or reflect long-term changes. When the end of January rolls around and we haven’t noticed any progress, it’s discouraging. Slowly but surely, we slip back into our old habits and patterns, back into the comfort zone of old patterns and behaviors. Part of the problem is modern society’s need for instant gratification. If your goals were something along the lines of lose weight or save money, you aren’t going to see leaps and bounds of progress in only one month (at least, not if you are using a healthy approach). Keep your timeline in perspective- New Year’s Resolutions aren’t supposed to be resolved in the first month or two of the year!

Maybe you started off the new year with a bang, and are now petering off. Instead of feeling guilty about this loss of zeal, it might be possible that your approach wasn’t sustainable. Remember to be relentless (and realistic) about your goals, but flexible about your methods. Life is going to throw you curveballs, so let your plans go with the flow (without losing sight of your goal, of course)!
Another common New Year’s Resolution rut comes from making goals that are a bit too ambitious. There’s a fine line between challenging yourself and creating an impossible task. Your goals don’t have to be dramatic, like “run a 5 minute mile” or “make a million dollars.” As long as you’re actively attempting to increase your health and happiness, your goals are just fine. Benjamin Franklin once said “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better person.” As long as you can look at yourself a year from now and be able to see and appreciate the personal growth that has taken place, let that be enough. “Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending” (Carl Bard).

So what if you missed the mark on January 1st? It’s just a date, after all- now is the perfect time to start!

Whatever you do, don’t give up! So what if you already stopped going to the gym for a week or missed your budget mark by going to the movies last week. You slipped, you fell down, but it doesn’t mean you should give up on the rest of the game. You might have to do some recalculating, either readjusting your mindset (instant gratification syndrome), your methods, or your goals (if they are overreaching) are some places to start.