SELFLESS GIVING

“As we give, we find that sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven, and in the end, we learn that it was no sacrifice at all” -Spencer W. Kimball

Easter was a couple weekends ago, and although it’s gone by, it’s still a great time to reflect on the nature of the holiday (that is, the idea of self-sacrifice and giving). Our society tends to be turned in toward ourselves, our own wants, desires, and egos, that before we agree to any sort of commitment, we first ask ourselves “What’s in it for me?” I say “tends to,” because this is by no means true of everyone or every situation people encounter. Sometimes, it isn’t even necessarily a conscious thought- rather, it’s something that lingers in the back of the mind as we come to a decision. Easter, for me, is a reflection on giving for the sake of giving. The best gift is the one that asks for nothing in return.

This particular type of giving is, when it boils down to it, the definition of selflessness. Whether we’re giving someone a thoughtful gift, a visit, a hand with moving, or even just a phone call, it may be a good idea to think about why we’re doing it. Is there an ulterior motive behind what you’re doing? Creating awareness is the first step in making any sort of change. Even if you realize you have an agenda that you weren’t aware of before (i.e. “Showing support for this event will help me gain some popularity”), it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow through (generally, keeping commitments is the more important consideration). We’re not always going to be perfectly, 100% selfless all the time, but it helps to remember the true purpose of giving back is to positively affect another human being: “I don't think you ever stop giving. I really don't. I think it's an on-going process. And it's not just about being able to write a check. It's being able to touch somebody's life” (Oprah Winfrey).

Although Easter focuses on the idea of the ultimate sacrifice, it doesn’t have to be a matter of life and death. You don’t need to be rich, famous, or powerful in order to give back. Simply being present and offering your full attention to someone or a situation is enough. Just offer what you can, even if it’s your smile: “Be helpful. When you see a person without a smile, give them yours”- Zig Ziglar. Small gestures can be just as fulfilling as grand gestures- and just as appreciated.
What are some ways you can think of to give for the sake of giving- whether it’s a group, community, or specific person? Even though Easter has come and gone, it’s always a good time to give! You will always get something in return: people who give back tend to be happier: “Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more” (H. Jackson Brown, Jr). Start giving and getting happy!

THOUGHTS ON EXPRESSING GRATITUDE

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, it is the parent of all others”- Cicero

Gratitude lists and journals are often suggested as a “pick me up” for people to get out of their own head. It’s a great exercise, and many people report that it works. The idea is to actively acknowledge what we are grateful for, which will help bring those positive feelings to our awareness and shift our mindset from the negative to the positive. Doing something every day to express gratitude- whether it’s using a gratitude journal, calling someone to thank them for their presence in your life, or simply saying “thank you” can help shift your mood.

The first step in expressing gratitude is to tap into the things you are grateful for, no matter how simple or trivial. Like anything else, this might require a bit of practice, and if you’re having a particularly difficult time in general, it may take a bit more work.

The next step is to find a way to channel it: “Gratitude requires awareness and effort not only to feel it but to express it” Bonnie D. Parkin. Some ideas for expressing gratitude include journaling, writing a letter, making a phone call, or paying it forward somehow. Gratitude journals have gained a lot of popularity recently (after all, Oprah has one!). If you decide to go that route, it’s recommended to make an entry 1-3 times a week. It doesn’t necessarily need to be an every day thing. Be diligent but don’t make it a chore- otherwise you risk making it a chore. You should set aside some time each day to write in your gratitude journal, but give yourself a range of items rather than a set amount (like 3-5). If you have more, great- don’t put a cap on it!

Why express gratitude? Anne Lamott explains it in this quote: “Gratitude is peace.” Having and showing gratitude have been linked to increased positive feelings, including optimism. In the wake of a terrible day, just being aware that you have a few things to be grateful for can give you a surge of good feelings- enough to know that it will all turn out alright, no matter what is happening at this moment: “When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change” (Dr. Wayne Dyer). Expressing gratitude can also increase our feelings of interconnectedness. No matter what method you choose- writing, praying, speaking to another- you sometimes experience a surge of compassion for certain people in your life. If that’s the case, you may even want to reach out to them and let them know!Expressing gratitude is an easy way to snap out of a bad mood. It also allows you to foster feelings of optimism, goodwill, connection, and overall positivity. Another bonus of gratitude is that it can be expressed in a variety of ways. I’ve given some examples above, but trust me- there are many more! If you cannot find anything to be grateful for, consider this quote: “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

THE POWER OF READING

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go”- Dr. Seuss

Last Wednesday was Dr. Seuss’ birthday. As a once-upon-a-time child and current mother, Dr. Seuss has been an influence on my life and countless others. “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” may be one of his more quotable books, in my opinion. The nostalgia of being read to as a child, and this quote in particular, have me reflecting on the importance of reading to a child. Children learn the value of reading from adults, and what better place to start than in their own homes? Setting aside time to read together as a family serves a few different purposes. It teaches children the value of reading, encourages time spent bonding as a family, and there are plenty of resources for getting started.

“Children are made readers in the laps of their parents” Emilie Buchwald. Reading to children is incredibly beneficial, and it all starts at home. This is where they’ll learn the value of reading and depending how old they are, actually start learning how to read. Once they start going to school, they have an advantage over others. According to this study from the NEA “Twenty six percent of children who were read to three to four times in the last week by a family member recognized all the letters of the alphabet.” This is compared to 14% of children who were read to less frequently or not at all. It probably isn’t surprising that success in school begins at home.

Reading to children early on does more than set them up for academic success. Fostering an an early interest in reading sets children up for a lifelong adventure: “To learn to read is to light a fire, every syllable that is spelled out is a spark” (Victor Hugo). Being able to access books, newspapers, and all other types of literature opens up new worlds and ways of thinking that, without reading, would have been inaccessible. Think of your favorite childhood books and the places those stories would transport you in your imagination- what a priceless gift to impart to a younger generation!

If you think about it, reading to your kids can be boiled down to one thing: spending time together. Taking away all the facts about better grades or higher SAT scores, picking up a book and reading to a child can simply just be a way to spend time with one another. Giving the gift of our time and attention is one of the best things we can do for our children (or the children in our lives): “One of the greatest gifts adults can give - to their offspring and to society- is to read to children” Carl Sagan.

If you aren't sure where to start with books to read, head to your local library. They are usually very helpful when it comes to recommendations and children's reading. Many have programs for early readers, too. When all else fails, there are plenty of online resources to check out for book ideas.

If you aren’t sure where to start with books to read, head to your local library. They are usually very helpful when it comes to recommendations and children’s reading. Many have programs for early readers, too. When all else fails, there are plenty of internet resources and blogs to check out for book ideas. This list from Parenting is a great starting point. Or, start with your favorite book from when you were a kid! No matter what you decide, it’s a small way to make a big difference.

The Unwavering Spirit Of Thanksgiving: Insights From Our Family To Yours

     "Blessed are those who give without remembering. And blessed are those who take without forgetting."    Bernard Meltzer


        I was reminded of the true meaning of Thanksgiving very early this morning. Long before sunrise, I was awakened by the all too familiar sound of my eldest son, Maurice, having a seizure. As I held him through it, I thought about how thankful I am to hold and nurture him through whatever obstacles come his way. After the convulsions passed, he was restless and unable to fall back asleep. I led him to the front room, turned on Dora the explorer, and we sat on the couch watching it at least four times in a row. Still lethargic from the seizure, Maurice looked at me sleepily a few times throughout the show. As I smiled lovingly at him, I was reminded of the song from 'Beaches', one of my favorite movies starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey: 'A beautiful smile to hide the pain, did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be, I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings....' I couldn't help but then think of one of my favorite Bible scriptures: 'For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' (John 3:16) It is so comforting, especially in trying times, to know God loves each and every one of us this much! The truth is that no amount of suffering, no matter how tragic and heartbreaking it may be, can equal the ultimate sacrifice God made for us and the pain Jesus had to bear on the cross. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says: 'give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'
      It's easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. After all there's the food, endless errands, and constant chaos. Sometimes we can struggle to just find a minute of peace for ourselves, and while I myself am no stranger to the deliciousness of pumpkin pie and juicy turkey, we must strive to remember the true spirit of giving. A lot of times giving is thought of with getting something back in return, but this is a misconstrued way of thinking.
       I can remember year after year, praying for God to make me a giver instead of a borrower. During the worst moments of our plight we went without so many times, and I longed to be a blessing to others. I am always looking for opportunities to instill the values of giving thanks and the importance of being a giver to my children. There are a few ways I try to teach them these valuable lessons. During the winter we go buy extra coats at Walmart. Sometimes in the mornings, on our way to school we might see a child sitting at the bus stop with very little on. We always stop and ask if they would like a coat. At first my children were embarrassed by this, but soon they came to understand the meaning of helping others. We have also paid a strangers bill before in a restaurant and offered to buy groceries for someone at the supermarket. I feel it is very meaningful to start faith filled traditions with children. You can do this on a tight budget as well. When money is low we find gently used items around the house to donate, visit an elderly neighbor, or maybe find a community service project we can participate in together. Not only do these things bring you closer together as a family, but ensure you are starting life long values that will span generations.
       I would like to share with you a viewpoint given by the well known author Stephen King. "A couple of years ago I found out what 'you can't take it with you' means. I found out while I was lying in a ditch at the side of a country road, covered with mud and blood and with the tibia of my right leg poking out the side of my jeans like a branch of a tree taken down in a thunderstorm. I had a MasterCard in my wallet, but when you're lying in a ditch with broken glass in your hair, no one accepts MasterCard." Do you have any giving stories or viewpoints you wish to share? I would love to hear them.
      I was driving home from the grocery store one day with my daughter and we saw a homeless man standing on a corner. While stopped at a red light she asked, "Mom can we please help him?" I didn't have any money with us and replied, "Sorry babe I wish we could." "But Mom we do have something to give, she interjected, we can give him some groceries." Realizing she was right, I rolled down the window and gave him some food. This showed me sometimes we might need to look further than our own usual way of thinking to really bless someone else. It is then we can tap into our full potential and use our God given talents in ways never imagined.
      I hope you all had a Blessed Thanksgiving and I will close this blog post with the scripture from Luke 6:38 (ESV)      'Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you."